Week 6 Shots in the Dark

by the butler

Our guidelines for start 'em/sit 'em will be fairly simple...we thought about stealing Sportsline.com's formula, (actually a random emailer's idea, although they do give him credit)
but I figured a simplified version would suffice. After all, it's not like we have all day to work on fancy equations and formulas. We have real jobs, we swear.

So here is how we're gonna do it. Sonny and I will grade ourselves and each other. Players will be classified as HITs, MISSes, or PUSH. We will be honest, it's not like we stand anything to gain in life by padding our fantasy start/sit records. If the two of us decide it's too close of a call, we will ask our colleagues to break the tie for us.

Each week we'll select starters as such: 2QB, 2RB, 2WR, 1TE, and two additional players at any position to equal a total of 9 starters. One of the nine is designated as your "reach of the week", which has to be a player that is not really expected to do well. If your reach player hits, two points are awarded, but a miss only counts as one. A money ball of sorts. The same numbers apply to sits. A perfect week would render a 20-0 record.

We are not allowed to choose players who are no-brainers. Like in Wheel of Fortune, they give you R,S,T,L,N,and E. Then you have to pick a second set of letters. That's what we're doing...picking the second set of letters. That should be explanation enough.

Ok, here goes...

The Butler's Starts:

QB

David Carr @ Dallas- I'm about to drop Carr for Drew Brees, and I can't believe I'm actually a little hesitant about it. I do think he'll continue his solid performance so far this season, even on the road against the Cowboys.

Chad Pennington vs. Miami- The Jets got smoked last week. Penny will be back with a vengeance.

RB

Tatum Bell vs. Oakland- Remember that guy Mike? I know Sondog does. Could be a career game for Mr. Bell here. Mr. Tatum Bell.

Marian Barber III vs. Houston- I owned Julius Jones last year. He pissed me off. I think they might both score here, but I think Barber III is the better all-around back. He was the starter ahead of Maroney back in the Golden Gopher days, mind you.

WR

Wes Welker @ Jets- I know, I know...we said we weren't going to pick no-brainers. Nine catches last week and an absolute gold mine in leagues that reward reception yards, like mine.

Lee Evans @ Lions- Pretty soon the Lions should notice that they have the worst pass D in the NFL. Why not ride the wave until they figure it out? Evans owners need him to make up for a slow start here.

TE

LJ Smith @ NO- He was on my list last week, but didn't come through for me. He won't let me down this week.

FLEX

Mikey Vick vs. the G-Men- I like Vick off the bye week against a Jekyl and Hyde Giants Defense.

REACH-

Bryant Johnson vs. Daaaaaaaahhhhh Bears- That's why we call it a reach. No one scores against Chicago. Johnson draws the luck of making his '06 starting debut against the best D we've seen in years, filling in for the injured Larry Fitzgerald. Good luck, son.

Sit- QB

Eli Manning @ Atlanta- Eli usually scores well even when he looks like garbage. Kind of like Bulger. I feel at least two turnovers and a few sacks coming for lil' Manning this week. (then he'll throw 2 TD's in crap time, like he did against Seattle, and they'll still lose)

Jake Delhomme @ Baltimore- Jake is noticeably worse on the road. And this Ravens D is looking for a bounce-back after last Monday night's loss at Denver. We'll see if Delhomme can find Smith and Keyshawn. Should be a great game.

RB

Kevin Jones vs. Buffalo- K. Jones, believe it or not, has been solid this year. I think he struggles this Sunday at home against the Bills.

Frank Gore vs. San Diego- Gore made me look good on my start list last week, and I think he will hit for me again this week, on the sit list against an amazing Chargers front seven.

WR

Hines Ward vs. Chiefs- The Steelers need a win bad. If Big Ben and Hines Ward can't get something going, it won't happen. The Chiefs defense has been playing very well this year, too.

Joe Horn vs. Philly- What a let down Joe Horn has been for me this year. I've given him the nod twice over players who end up blowing the roof off. I'm tired of saying he's due.

TE

Jeremy Shockey @ Atlanta- He's supposed to play, but I don't think he'll do much.

FLEX

Bruce Gradkowski vs. Bengals- Three TD's last week have the waiver wires going crazy. I think this week's game will slow that down a bit.

REACH

Larry Johnson @ Pit- Now hold on a second, let me explain. You don't bench LJ unless you have two solid RB's that you can plug in. But if my three running backs this week were LJ, Julius Jones (vs. HOU), and Tatum Bell(vs. OAK), and I could only play two...I'd actually sit LJ. Again, that's why we call it a reach.

SonDog's Starts:

QB

J.P. Losman @ Detroit- The "Under no circumstances should you ever start J.P. Losman on the raod" rule doesn't apply against Detroit.

Jake Plummer vs. Oakland- The "Under no circumstances should you ever start Jake Plummer. Period" rule doesn't apply against Oakland. In fact, Oakland has blown the ceiling off all rules.

RB

Reggie Bush vs. Philly- "And with the first pick in the draft, the Houston Texans select: Franchise Suicide."

Ronnie Brown @ Jets- Brown can't average only 3.3 yards per carry for the entire season, can he? If it were not for 3 touchdowns, this would be a bust of a year.

WR

Andre Johnson @ Dallas- The Cowboys gave up a myriad of big plays against Philly last week, and they have a tiny locker room distraction that may effect them for the rest of the season (just ask the Niners and Eagles). Johnson has been solid in the past, but he's making "The Leap" this year.

Santana Moss vs. Tennessee - In each of my leagues this year there have been teams that have sat Moss. Why?

TE

Heath Miller vs. KC- It's been a lost season for TE's, unless your league still allows Marques Colston at the TE slot (Damnit ESPN!!).

FLEX

Javon Walker vs. Oakland- I would pick the Podunk Tallywackers against Oakland this weekend if I could.

REACH

Michael Turner vs. SF- Who in the name of Zeus's butthole would start LT's backup? Take a look at the numbers over the last couple of weeks. Turner is getting more playing time, and if your league counts return yards - start him. I will.

Sit-QB

Damon Huard @ Pit- He's been a solid fantasy option this year with 5 td's and 0 picks. Call him the anti-Bledsoe, if you will. This Sunday he will remember that his name is Damon Huard.

John Kitna vs. Buf- He's the seventh ranked QB in fantasy football in 2006. Read that again. Now think about that. You know as well as I do that it's not going to last.

RB

Deuce McAllister vs. Philly- He will be wearing another uniform next year. His decreased playing time starts this weekend in one of Sunday's best matchups.

Tiki Barber @ Atlanta- It's been a disappointing season for Tiki and Atlanta's defense is for real.

WR

Keyshaun Johnson @ Baltimore- Baltimore's defense is pretty good.

Chris Chambers @ NYJ- When will Dan Marino get the call at QB in Miami? He has lost a lot of weight with Weight Watchers. He even tells us that it will increase your sexual energy! (Side Note: If they ever wrote a book titled, "Hall of Fame Quarterbacks to have Really Bad Ideas," Marino accepting the job as Weight Watchers spokesperson has to have a chapter all its own, right?)

TE

Jeremy Shockey @ Atlanta- If only because I hate that guy.

FLEX

Philly Defense @ New Orleans- I have a feeling this one will be a shootout and the Saints don't put the ball on the ground a lot. I base this one on gut instinct and no factual evidence to back me up.

REACH

Anquan Boldin vs. Chicago- Why is this a reach? Because Boldin was a top-5 receiver at draft time and he is in-line to get every ball thrown his way with Fitzy out of the lineup. Sadly, Chicago's defense may kill Matt Leinart, literally, by halftime. If I had him on my team and I had a viable reserve like, say, Hines Ward or Antonio Bryant? I'd sit him.