Welcome To Fantasy Land

by RB and SonDog

Sometimes you just have to have a whiskey after work. Especially on Fridays after dealing with unnecessary and gratuitous office drama.

Take this week, for example. Please.

On to what this blog is all about: Fantasy sports and how it runs our lives to the degree that we should be on medication. (By the way, if you don't have a vagina, and you actually like whiskey, it begs to be emphasized that sometimes you need to drink not just any old, cheap whiskey. Not any of this Evan Williams crap. As Allen Iverson would probably say, "We talkin' 'bout Irish whiskey." )

Recently, maybe two or three weeks ago, an article surfaced raising concerns about the amount of "production potential" that is currently being sacrificed at the brazen alter of Fantasy Football. Surfaced means our buddy emailed the article at the precise moment we should have been answering a call that would have no doubt lead to production. Which is why we are paid to do what we do. Just produce, baby.

At this point we are presented with a philosophical enigma. Really there is no other way to put it. On one hand an argument could be made that the astronomical amount of time that we spend, or waste or invest or squander, at our places of hire could be utilized for the good of the company or whatever the hell you do. The next and slightly sexier hand, however, debates that this is OUR time, dammit. If we want to look at the waiver wire to see which tight end has the best chance of scoring the maximum amount of points this week because Antonio Gates is already on a bye... We'll take five minutes. Maybe even thirty. And you can't stop us.

An argument can be made (and has been in a recent article) that taking a break to study the merits of keeping a backup tight-end vs. a backup kicker actually increases your overall productivity during the course of the day. You see, rather than waste time being miserable, you spend small amounts of time in the orgasmic state of "Oh-My-God,-Somebody-Just-Dropped-Baltimore's-Defense-And-I've-Got-Waiver-Priority" euphoria. This puts you in a better mind set to produce for the company. This, my friends, is the school of thought that we choose to adhere. We've got our Doctorate in this shit. Kind of like the Bush administration and going to war. Because, at the end of the day, the alternative is taking an hour to listen to somebody whine about Douchebag 1A not doing their job or Douchebag 1B not doing their job. Frankly, I'd rather worry about Randy Moss not doing his job.

So that's what we're about. We talkin' 'bout fantasy sports. We talkin' 'bout winning your league, some money, some pride, some self-respect, and most importantly - bragging rights.